Sunday July 23, 2006

Okay so I took yesterday off of writing. But I still got up before the girls, went for a run and weighed in. I gained .2 lbs. No worries, if I could've had a BM I would've lost. Oh quit being disgusted, we all do it! Any how, I'm motivated to have a big loss this week because on Saturday I become a Lifetime member at Weight Watchers. I have been an on again off again member since Avery was born. She's now seven years old! It's been a long time coming but I think I finally feel like I get it. For me, I need to weigh in each and every week or my mind tells me I can eat like a savage. I know deep down that I will gain but if I don't have to weigh in I will eat anything and everything. From birth I was a food lover. My parents actually used to call me a food vacuum, which at the time was funny because I was a child and my metabolism could keep up with my consumption. Fast forward 15 years and my metabolism is I think at some times non existent. What I put in my mouth ends up on my stomach, ass, inner upper thighs and arms. Lovely thought isn't it?

I also know that I need to exercise everyday. Not only to burn fat, but to keep me emotionally and mentally healthy as well. I'm sure if my husband is reading this he's laughing and thinking "What are you talking about? You've been doing this running thing for over a year now and your more insane than ever?" But really on a more serious note I know it's good for me. When I leave the house for a run and my kids kiss me goodbye, they're proud of me. Or when I run on my treadmill, and Avery says" Mom, I'm going to run on the spot beside you!" I feel so great that she recognizes that I'm doing something good and she wants to do it too. Plus what great entertainment for me while I'm on the treadmill. My mind wanders to many things while I'm running. But for the last four months or so I can imagine myself running the half marathon that I've signed up for. I can picture myself running, seeing Jeff and the girls cheering me on and I get goosebumps at the idea of this accomplishment. I can see my mom smiling at me, she is so proud. That's what gets me through my runs.

I also know for me that weightloss isn't necessarily about the numbers on the scale. It's about how it makes me feel. I just went through my closet and donated a garbage bag full of clothes that I will NEVER fit into again. It's about sitting down and not having a roll over my pants, which I haven't accomplished yet. I will though, because I know how to do it. Weight loss for me to isn't about depriving myself. If I'm craving something I eat it, get it over with and get back on track. I've learned that eating one chocolate bar doesn't have to ruing my day or week. It can be one chocolate bar in a week full of great choices. I have more confidence and energy now than I've ever had in my life. It feels great and I'm going to keep going until that roll is gone.

Winter wrote about doing the CIBC run for a cure this October. Hooray! Congratulations on making such a commitment. It's going to be so great for you! I've done it for four years now and last year Brandie came and did it with me. This year I'm going to Calgary to do it with her. It's such a great cause and a great way to commit to getting into shape. Two years ago I had just started running and my cousin Nick and his mom, my Auntie Joan came and ran it with me. FYI, Nick and (his wife) Crystal are runners. They've both done a complete marathon and Auntie Joan did a half I think. So they are the ones who got me on this band wagon in the first place.

I have to get my kids fed, apply for more jobs, clean the house, water flowers etc.......

G Out!